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This is my guide to learning & mastering social skills. I call this Guide "Navigating the Neurotypical World" (NTNTW).

It's a work in progress, but I hope you stay and find some new ways of thinking about people & your social interactions.

Please do not create any new pages yourself without reaching out to me first. They will most likely be deleted.

This Guide is written for two groups:

  • Autistics who want to learn effective social skills
  • Neurotypicals who want to help teach effective social skills to an autistic friend, family member, client, or student.

Why am I writing this Guide?

Most Social Skills Advice that I've come across in my life has been well-intentioned, yet confusing and ultimately not very useful. Neurotypicals as a whole are particularly bad at providing useful social skills advice to autistics, because they socialize using cognitive tools that:

a) autistics don't naturally have, and;

b) are designed for socializing in a non-neurodiverse environment (i.e. where everyone is neurotypical).

And yet, because most neurotypicals live there lives in a Neurotypical-dominant World, they don't see their own cognitive tools which they (and those around them) employ. And they aren't aware of the complex nuances, strategies, and introspection that is needed for effective cross-neurotype socialization (and to be fair, neither do many autistics).

As a result, neurotypicals giving social skills advice generally just share how social situations look to them, how they would feel, what they would do. Or what their idea of a normal, polite, reasonable, or well-socialized person would do. But this falls short, because it doesn't account for the different set of cognitive tools employed by the autistic mind, or the complexities of communicating across neurotypes (which shares similar dynamic to communicating with someone from a very different culture, with a very different set of beliefs, world views, life experiences, and social norms).

This Guide aims to help both autistic and neurotypical readers to deeply understand autistic social challenges in a Neurotypical World. For all the study into autism and social challenges, there is a massive lack of understanding of the deeper nature of these challenges. I have made a lot of headway into understanding this problem & solving it. It's a huge body of knowledge, not captured anywhere else, and it's a badly needed resource. I've spent my life working out this problem. And it wouldn't be right to keep this to myself. This is why am investing a pretty huge amount of time & effort time & effort into documenting this knowledge into the most accessible, useful, & freely available form I can manage.

Ultimately, the NTNTW Guide aims to show that:

Even with autistic challenges, and living in a world as a neurological minority... there is a path for ANYONE to learn powerful, effective social skills.

It just takes the right resources and a lot of hard work. I aim to provide (or point to) the resources. The hard work will be up to you.

A more complete Introduction is here.


The Guide is a work in progress, and probably always will be. But I hope I can be of some help.

Good luck in your journey.

Please contact me with any questions at robj@ntntw.info.


Official Pages are all listed below, or linked through one of the Segment pages below (e.g. "On Forming Connection" or "Intro to SPOT").

If a page in this Wiki is not linked the this page or a Segment page, it was either unfinished or not written by me.

Roadmap

What is this guide?

How to learn social skills from this Guide

Roadmap

Areas of Mastery

Forming Connections

Autistic Social Challenges

Understanding Allistic Behavior

Personality Typing (SPOT)

Knowing Your Self

Protecting the Self

Human Needs

Emotional Dynamics

Conforming

Competing

Critical Thinking

Helping Others

Mastering Conversation

Core Concepts

The Neurotypical World

The Autistic World

SPOT - Social Styles / Personality Types

5-Angle Tool (5AT) - Holistic Social Analysis

Misc. Theories, Techniques, Tools, Definitions

The Challenge of Teaching Social Skills

The Complexity Problem

The Authenticity Problem

The Second Language Problem

The Psycho-Social Entanglement Problem

Critiques of Classic Social Skills Interventions (SSIs)

Critiques of SSI Methods

Key Concepts

Definitions

Definition of Terms

Abbreviations

Resources

Referenced & Highly Recommended books etc.

Referenced & Recommended free resources

NTNTW Coaching